Every single day of that pregnancy was a struggle. I mean Every. Single. Day. So many IV's, trips to the hospital... it seemed everyone there knew me by name. Days where I couldnt get out of bed. Days where I lay on the couch while the kids watched TV for hours. The migraines, the numbness in my hands and face. I fought depression. I dont think that I could see it then, but the darkness and hopelessness that I felt... sometimes it was too much to bear.
I remember one particular time. I had the worst migraine. (that landed me in the hospital after 3 days) Before I went to bed that first night, I remember crying out to Heavenly Father. Asking him to just make it go away. To just help me. I felt like a child banging on the door. (much like my children do when Im trying to use the bathroom. Ha!) Then I fell asleep. I recall waking up sometime in the middle of the night, hearing a distinct voice. I heard the words of Elder Holland, "If the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong. Trusting in better days ahead."
Fast forward to 39 weeks. I asked the doctor for an induction at 39 weeks. So I woke up that beautiful May 12 morning. I didnt need to be to the hospital until 9. I saw the 3 older kids off to school. Then I went into the hospital. It was so nice to be so close to home. And, some of my nurses were good friends who are in my ward. My doctor didnt want me to deliver until after his clinic was over (if I could help it) so my contractions were managed by the pitocin. At about 5, I got an epidural. And, for some reason, it knocked me out and I fell asleep for about 4 hours. When I woke up- I was at a 10, and it was time to push. As was the same with my other babies, I pushed just a few times and Andy was here. I remember seeing him... that first look. I waited for the doctor to suction him. It felt like an eternity and all I wanted to do was hold my little baby. The second I laid eyes on him... there was a connection that was beyond anything words can describe. They laid Andy on my chest and I felt my heart was going to burst with love for this little guy.
In a way, I almost felt like I was able to go to the veil and help this sweet baby come here to this world. I had felt his spirit so strongly the few days prior to giving birth and the feeling that was in the delivery room was beautiful that night.
Andy is such a sweet spirit. I sense something special about this little guy. I remember one morning the bishop came over to give me a blessing. I was still pregnant and really struggling. He said that little Andy was a special spirit. And I really truly feel that in my heart.
So here he is. My sweet Andrew Scott. 8 lbs even. 20.5 inches. And as sweet as they come. I love you Andy, and Im so glad you are here.
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